What Happened to All the Things We Used to Love?

On forgotten hobbies, changing interests and the curious experience of no longer knowing what we enjoy.

You finally have a Saturday afternoon to yourself. Nothing particularly urgent needs doing, nobody's expecting you anywhere, and for once, there's no reason to be productive. So what do you do?

It's an appealing prospect until you realise you're not entirely sure. You could go somewhere, make something, try something new. Instead, you find yourself scrolling through other people's weekends, wondering when having free time became so different from knowing how to enjoy it.

There was probably a time when filling an afternoon required very little thought. Maybe you spent hours drawing, swimming, playing music or simply being outside. You had interests you naturally gravitated towards, things you looked forward to doing without needing much of a reason. Somewhere between growing up, going to work and managing everyday responsibilities, some of those interests quietly disappeared.

Of course, it's natural for our interests to change. The things we loved at fifteen aren't necessarily going to excite us at thirty. But there's a difference between growing out of something and gradually losing touch with the things we enjoy altogether. When so much of our time is spent doing what needs to be done, it can become surprisingly difficult to remember what we'd actually choose to do.

When did hobbies become another thing to be good at?

There's an interesting contradiction in the way we approach our free time. We're encouraged to slow down, find balance and enjoy life outside of work, yet there's also an expectation that we should have something we're passionate about. A creative pursuit, an impressive hobby, a particular interest that somehow becomes part of our identity.

Even the activities we take up for enjoyment can quickly turn into something we're supposed to improve at. We start running and think about entering a race. We enjoy taking photographs and wonder whether we need a better camera. We try a pottery class and find ourselves comparing our wonky little bowl to the beautiful ceramics people have spent years learning to make.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to get better at something. Developing a skill can be incredibly satisfying. But not every interest needs to lead somewhere, and not everything we enjoy has to become something we're particularly good at.

There's something quite lovely about having an activity that exists purely for our own enjoyment. Something we do without measuring our progress, documenting the experience or thinking about what might come of it. We can enjoy reading without setting ourselves a yearly book goal, spend time in the garden without creating the perfect outdoor space or take photographs without ever sharing them.

And perhaps that's something worth remembering when we're trying to figure out what we enjoy. We don't need to find a talent or discover a hidden passion. We can simply find something we like doing.

Following the things that interest you

Of course, knowing that we should do more of what we enjoy isn't particularly helpful when we're not sure what those things are.

Rather than setting out to discover your one great passion, it might be more useful to start noticing what catches your attention. What do you find yourself reading about when nobody's asked you to? Which places have you been meaning to visit? Is there something you've watched other people do and quietly thought, I'd love to try that?

These small curiosities are easy to dismiss, particularly when they don't seem significant enough to become a proper hobby. Maybe you've always liked the idea of learning Italian, growing vegetables, taking a dance class or spending more time near the ocean. None of these interests needs to become a defining part of your personality to be worth exploring.

Try something once before deciding whether it's for you. Visit the exhibition, borrow the book, sign up for the introductory class or spend an afternoon somewhere unfamiliar. You might discover something you want to keep doing. You might find it isn't nearly as enjoyable as you imagined. Both are useful things to learn.

And while revisiting childhood interests can be a lovely place to begin, there's no need to assume that the things we once loved are the things we're supposed to love forever. We're constantly changing, shaped by new experiences, relationships and stages of life. Discovering what we enjoy now can be just as interesting as remembering what we enjoyed then.

The underrated pleasure of being a beginner

One of the stranger things about adulthood is how rarely we put ourselves in situations where we're completely inexperienced. Most days are spent doing things we already know how to do, whether that's our work, household routines or the familiar activities that fill our weekends.

Trying something new means accepting that we might be terrible at it. And when we're used to feeling reasonably competent in everyday life, that can be surprisingly uncomfortable.

But being a beginner has its advantages. There's freedom in not knowing what you're doing, in experimenting without expectations and in having absolutely no reputation to protect. You can paint a terrible picture and still enjoy painting it. You can take a dance class with no sense of rhythm, learn three chords on a guitar or attempt a recipe that looks nothing like the photograph.

The result doesn't have to be particularly impressive for the experience to be worthwhile.

There's also something to be said for allowing a little more play into adulthood. Not necessarily in the form of organised activities or games, but in the simple act of doing something spontaneous, creative or unfamiliar. Making something with your hands, exploring a new place, being silly with friends or trying an activity you've never considered before.

We tend to leave a lot of that behind as we get older, replacing it with routines and activities that feel more purposeful. Yet some of our most enjoyable experiences are the ones that happen without much planning at all.

Not every enjoyable moment needs to become a hobby

There's another possibility worth considering: perhaps some of the things we enjoy most aren't hobbies at all.

Maybe it's swimming in the ocean after work, listening to an entire album while cooking dinner or wandering through a bookshop with no particular title in mind. It could be a long lunch with friends, a spontaneous drive somewhere new or spending a Sunday morning in the garden.

These moments don't necessarily give us an interesting answer when someone asks what we do in our spare time. They don't come with milestones or a sense of achievement. But they can make an ordinary week feel considerably more enjoyable.

And perhaps we overlook them because they seem too simple to count. We imagine that bringing more joy into our lives requires a new experience, a change of routine or something worth looking forward to on the calendar. Sometimes it does. Other times, it's simply about noticing what we already enjoy and choosing to do a little more of it.

That doesn't mean every day needs to be filled with wonderful experiences. There are periods when life feels heavy, when we're exhausted or when finding enjoyment isn't particularly easy. But when we do have the time and energy, there's value in giving those smaller pleasures some attention.

Getting to know yourself again

If you've found yourself feeling disconnected from the things you once loved, it can be tempting to think you need to make some significant change. Find a new hobby, join a group, develop a passion or somehow become a more interesting version of yourself.

But perhaps that's putting too much pressure on something that should, by its nature, be enjoyable.

You don't need to know exactly what you're looking for. You can try something and decide it isn't for you. You can return to an old interest, discover a new one or realise that what you enjoy most is much simpler than you expected.

The next time you find yourself with a free afternoon and no idea what to do with it, think about something you've been curious about lately, however small, and give it a go.

Maybe you'll discover you love pottery. Maybe you'll realise you'd much rather spend your Saturdays at the beach. Or maybe you'll try something once and never think about it again.

None of those afternoons is wasted. That's rather the point.